The Story of My Life

I thought I should share with you all what my life is mostly about these days. Did you know I’m kept at my computer mercilessly all day by someone else? Oh yes. They’re a slave driver that won’t ever let me get up – even to use the bathroom.

Meet, The Dictator.

I’m quite at a loss of what to do. Every day I’m faced with the predicament that if I sit down at my computer, Kaylie is going to trap me there for hours. She’s not like some creep at a bar that you can escape with a feeble excuse.

It all starts with her lurking in the shadows, scoping out the situation.

She then positions herself so that she has a better view of things.

After a minute or two, she decides that it’s time to test out the water.

She waits to see how here presence is received. Hand waving is a sign of me encouraging her to jump into my lap, no reaction translates into me begging her to lay in my lap.

Within 5 seconds, she will make her leap and wait to see if there is still any sign of her being unwelcomed.

I give her an ear scratch which is the secret signal that I want her to camp out on my lap for the next 24 hours.

Then comes the moment of triumph where she can rub her clear superior-ness into Prince’s face.

My thigh-warmer then ignores me while ordering me to fetch her turkey. Stat.

I plead and trade ear scratches for turkey to appease the queen.

And finally, she is ready to settle in for the long haul.

Poor Prince.

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